After a long and difficult expedition, explorers have discovered the near-mythical entrance to the Bristol to Bath cycle path.
The voyage of discovery involved days of travelling through bewilderingly identical industrial estates, as well as a desperate push through a post-apocalyptic concrete wasteland devoid of life, known to the natives as "the Interprize Zone".
Hazards along the way included piles of burned-out mopeds, and a graveyard where shopping trolleys go to die. A number of the expedition's members also disappeared along the way, and are presumed to have fallen into the clutches of the barbaric Húdi cult.
There are now plans to explore the full length of the cycle path when weather conditions improve, and try and reach the mysterious City of Gold at the other end.
However a downbeat note was struck by one survivor from the party, who said "I'm pretty sure I went there once, and it's already been conquered by French schoolchildren."