Resident's Parking Zones are "a tax on dogging"

Alfresco sex addicts have expressed their fury at proposals for resident's parking schemes, saying that they will have a disastrous impact on their lifestyles.

"I can't believe it" said one. "I used to park up in Leigh Woods and go off in search of a quick dirty shag against a tree. Now I'll have to buy day permits and things, and by the time I've stuck them up in my windscreen I'll barely have time to make it to the copse with my favourite filthy mattress. It's an outrage."

Misgivings about the proposals run deeper than the enthusiasts of outdoor sexing. Another dogger contacted by the Groan also voiced doubts:

"I have to travel quite long distances across the city to meet randoms who've exposed themselves to me on webcams. Being charged to park outside their houses while I pop inside for a perfunctory sexual encounter is literally my worst nightmare. Now I'm going to have to walk for miles in the rain with some dirty pants in my pocket"

"The worst thing about these proposals is that they are designed to favour freaks like pedestrians, cyclists, and people who live close to where they work. It's like they've decided to penalise normal people"

What do you think? Tweet us with the hashtag #DoggingTax