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Alien spokesman Lord Crumb, of Crumb's Country Delights, explained that the aliens had originally harvested the humans for meat via a giant tractor beam, located just inside the restaurant's toilets.
However, once the humans were captured, the aliens found their eyes were bigger than their stomachs.
"I'd been really looking forward to a massive all-you-can-eat banquet with the wife. I'd even been deliberately starving myself. But when I started eating, I realised they tasted a bit weird and foreign. They smelled funny, like a mix of Lambert and Butlers and Weston-Super-Mare."
"In the end I just got a waitress to take them away in a big plastic wheelie bin. The chocolate fountain was a bit grim too."